Doomsday Heists
On December 2017, the landscape of Gym 9 would be forever changed. After weeks of playing only DBD and PUBG exclusively, the LBG learned of the groundbreaking new heists that were to be released and updated / reinstalled GTA once more. It was the time for new Beechers, new car crashes, and even new identities. And since the previous Heists page has become overlong and bloated, these fresh and new heists warrant their own page. Without further ado... Act I: The Data Breaches The gang had no idea what they were getting into, but after John finished his finals midterms it was time for the great LBG heisting to begin. With money probably given to him by backers, Beecher bought the facility - the most expensive one, with every possible extra purchase made, including premiere lounges and an orbital cannon. An orbital fucking cannon. It all clocked in at an affordable $5.4 million dollars. He only had hackers and several repeated heist playthroughs to thank. These new heists were so in-depth that the setups had their own setups, called "preps". To make matters worse, these preps were in freemode. Ugh. Prep 1: Get an ambulance. Seems easy enough, except only Beecher was in preps - they quickly learned that you needed to be in an organization to do the preps together. Beecher led the gang to the ambulance and brought it back, with Beecher losing the police in relatively easy fashion, John sacrificing himself to stop a helicopter, and Jack and Gene driving off into the sunset with the cops in tow. Setup 1: Beecher quickly set up a motorcycle gang called "moneylaundering" to ensure the crew would all be able to take part in the missions. In this one, Beecher and Jack went to the morgue to get evidence from some dead bodies, and John and Gene had their own daring helicopter mission. Everything was accomplished with little issue, and the crew escaped in style. Prep 2: In this one, we needed to steal four advanced cars and drive them all the way back to the base. Seemed easy enough - with one hiccup. Gene's game fucked up, booting him from our server and by extension the whole prep. Even after rejoining, he couldn't take the car. Meaning after delivering the first car, Beecher had to drive all the way back and retrieve the fourth and final car. God bless you, Rockstar. Setup 2: GTA jumped the shark, and in the best way possible. Putting these new cars to the test, the four had to track down targets and hack them via proximity. Because that's how hacking works. But all that was overshadowed by the cars themselves. Starting as a simple driving mission, the second phase turned the cars into literal hovercrafts, chasing boats on the water. To go further beyond, the third phase made the cars fly as they chased down a plane. Pure poetry. Prep 3: In this third and final (for now) freemode prep, the gang met a deadly adversary - assholes on the Internet. They had to retrieve a high-tech helicopter and deliver it back to base, but did not account for some asshole to keep killing everybody on the way. In both a blessing and a curse, Beecher was booted from the game like Gene was in the last setup - but since he was the leader, this simply meant he was able to retrieve the helicopter with no fear of sudden explosion. It took a while, but the deed was done. Setup 3: This setup actually ended up being more elaborate than the heist itself. Using the helicopter, they infiltrated a top-secret government facility (somehow without anybody noticing, even though they landed on the roof???) and went down to the server farm. There, they fought through hordes and hordes of hateful, bigoted cops, and then had a relaxing elevator ride on their way back up. After multiple deaths, low on armor and snacks, the crew barely managed to get out of there alive, including an impromptu emergency pickup of Jack, who was pinned and on the brink of death. The Heist: Finally, the heist itself, while pretty cool, was undermined by the setup before it. They had to fight their way into another base, fight some guys, and then mounted some cannons and mowed down the agents trying to attack. Then they got some lore and exposition from Agent 14 and some other guys they didn't recognize, and learned of their next opponent - some asshole named Bogdan. The eyebrows man from Breaking Bad had returned, and he was out for blood. One act was down, and two remained. Act II: The Bogdan Problem Something, something, Russian submarine. Something, something, missing agent. For this act, the gang had the revolutionary idea of doing the preps before everything else. This would allow things to be accomplished quicker and get the more tedious stuff out of the way. Prep 1: The gang had to get a riot van with some keycards. I'd say more, but the rest of the crew did the entire prep by the time I was anywhere near them. Prep 2: We had to get the intel on the missing guy. Here we killed some poor dealers on bicycles then raided the main dealer's apartment. Nothing suits a leisurely bike ride more than a helicopter appearing and gunning you down. Prep 3: The crew then had to start a riot. They threw some tear gas, punched some people, stopped John from killing some people, then Beecher stole the riot control van and bailed. They learned the useful skill that you could call Lester to pay off the cops, since the preps were still technically in freemode. Prep 4: The gang had to steal four cars. While time-consuming, it was fairly easy... except for the 2 or 3 helicopter crashes along the way. Prep 5: Finally, the crew took the chopper to some sea bikers, giving them flashbacks to the (thank you) Avi Schwartzman mission. They got the ECUs (whatever those are) off of some boat, then stole their nicer, faster helicopter and escaped. Setup 1: Long ago, the four heisters lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the first setup attacked. The goal was to pick up an Avenger jet. Easy, right? It started pretty normally. The gang drove to the airport and got into the room. Then, the lights went dark. An ambush! What followed was complete chaos. Everyone was dying left and right, Lester was yelling at them to get to the gantries, there was no cover to be found, many strategies tried and failed, but eventually they pulled through. But it wasn't over yet. After taking the Avenger to the landing zone, the mission wouldn't end! They looked up and down but couldn't find the goal point. After much searching, Gene realized he need to equip the landing gear. And with that, the setup was over. Setup 2: After 900 million years, the crew returned from playing nothing but Daylight and Siege, to tackle another setup... but this one would not be much easier than the last. They went back to the foundry from the end of the single player campaign and engaged in a shootout. Beecher and Jack went inside and got mowed down from all angles, and John and Gene fucked around in the armored truck outside. After rinsing through snacks and armor in their first few attempts, the gang had had it with Rockstar, belittling GTA Online as a game and Rockstar as a company. While a lot of it was salt, there was definitely truth in the matter. Eventually though, they succeeded, rescuing some agent with a dumb accent and then driving back to the end. One of them briefly contemplated doing another setup, which was met by the rest of the crew with a resounding "Fuck that." Only two more setups... and a heist... and heist 3's preps, setups, and heist. At our current pace it will probably finish in 2019. Wew lad 9 months later, the crew reunited to continue the heisting, but Rockstar Social Club said "no" and Beecher X was all for naught. We will try again in August 2019 Current Status: The Doomsday Heists have been banished to the shadow realm because of how terrible they are. The LBG will never play them again, and most likely not return to GTA V on account of Beecher and Gene being idiots and buying GTA on the Rockstar Social Club (idiots). The regular heists could perhaps one day make another appearance due to nostalgia, but the Doomsday Heists are cancelled indefinitely.